6 Valuable Love Lessons from a Jewish Matchmaker
The entire reason we are on this earth is to connect with others- to grow and create intimate relationships and to increase joy in each other’s lives. If we are dismissive of others and their feelings, how can we expect to find and maintain love in our own lives?
As we enter Adar, the Hebrew month of increased joy, Purim is around the corner and renewal becomes a reality. Spring is coming, and the opportunity to break through our own barriers to a deeper and higher level of joy is here. Every day we have an opportunity to CONNECT, to LOVE, to GIVE to others and elicit JOY.
It has been 10 months since I officially opened my matchmaking agency, and my first year of working as matchmaker in the Jewish community has produced two beautiful engaged couples, successful mixers and speed dating parties, interesting conversations, and tremendous challenges. But I have been through many of the struggles and continue to grow and learn more about love and relationships daily.
Today, our minds easily become consumed by lust, regret, loneliness, and pain from rejection or loss - if we allow our negative inner voice to dominate.
We get frustrated when we spend hours online to no forward movement. We go out each weekend, dress provocatively, and still have yet to meet the person of our dreams.Yes we have incredible friends and our family is annoyingly but lovingly intrusive, yet we can’t help but feel that heaviness in our hearts.
There's good news! The work we do on ourselves NOW affects the kind of person we attract into our lives.
With that said, here is are 6 time-tested pieces of advice to find and increase your sense of love - sourced from married couples, therapists, dating coaches, and the ultimate source of truth in the Jewish tradition- the Torah.
The Jewish root of the word LOVE is AHAVA – from the root Hav or To Give. Giving is not solely monetary– give your time, your smile, your hug, your sweet notes, your massage skills, or your tasty home baked Italian pasta. Let go of your ego and give to the people in your life.
Give often of yourself- and be modest about it. Give to a partner who is able to give back and allow your partner to give to you- which gets us in a habit of giving and receiving.
Balance these three elements.